Staring at the ceiling. The ceiling is staring back. My apartment is so quiet I can hear my own hair growing. I am so bored I started organizing my ties by decade. I only have ties from one decade. This is a very fast game. I need to get out of this box. I need to do something that isn’t work or an arcade. I am rotting! A very handsome, well-dressed rot!
Back to the freezer. My breath is fogging up my laptop screen. I am typing with gloves on. Typing with gloves is an extreme sport. Yuo llok lijke a tiot! See? That was me trying to type “You look like an idiot!” I am an idiot! A freezing, lonely idiot in a foreign country! W00t! Feel the chill! Send me thermal underwear! Send me a bonfire!
WHY IS IT STILL HOT. IT IS OCTOBER. My apartment is a sauna. I am a roasted peanut. I am a salty, sweating, 1950s gentleman who is melting into a tatami mat. Biga Bosso made me work until 11 PM. I am running on fumes and Pocari Sweat. If I die here, please tell my vintage suit collection that I loved them. *sobs into a towel* I need a vacation. I need an air conditioner. I need a miracle.
I’m back, baby! I’m back, you love it! *snicker* I gots me brand new domains, all new, all clean, all nice, nice? It’s too new to even have pubes yet, so cute *pets it*, soon it will have man root. curly man root. Don’t contradict me! *smack!* Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I’m sitting in my apartment and there is NO HEAT. Why do I live in a box? Tell him to stop! Tell GOD to stop! I’m freezing my gorgeous 1950s-styled ass off. W00T!