TRAINS.
Watching the trains go by. So many people going to places they probably don’t want to be.
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ACCENT.
Why do people still look at me like I have two heads when I speak Japanese? Yes, I have an American accent. Yes, I use slang that makes me sound like a yakuza from 1985. So what?! I was buying a simple iced coffee and the barista looked terrified. 異邦人の孤独。(The loneliness of the foreigner.) I should just communicate purely through interpretive dance from now on. It would save time.
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GAMER GUY.
I have achieved god status at the local arcade. The teenagers fear me. They tremble before my retro-American might! I speak fluent Japanese but I threw in a “Yeehaw” just to confuse them. They scattered like roaches! HAH! I rule this neon kingdom! But then I went outside and it was snowing and I realized I have to go back to my unheated box. My kingdom for a space heater. Seriously. Help.
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DEATH THREAT.
YEAAAAAAYAH! I got a death threat! Faithy, aren’t you proud of me? I wore my “Jesus Eats Fish” shirt, and some guy just hit me and said he was gonna shoot me in the head! W00t! Go Christians! I feel your love! I can feel you in me! WOAAAAH! Honestly, it’s the most action I’ve seen in months. I might go back tomorrow and see if he wants to get a beer. God, I’m so bored. Send me a new video game or something.