I fought a vending machine today and lost. It took my yen. It mocked me with its blinking lights. I just wanted a hot corn soup! Is that too much to ask from the universe? I stood there in my perfectly tailored vintage slacks and yelled at a metal box for five minutes. An old man walked by and just shook his head. Yes, oji-san, I am a disgrace!
Solo ramen. Again. The guy behind the counter knows my order now. We don’t speak. He just nods, I nod. It’s the most intimate relationship I have in my life right now. 夜の静けさが腹に染みる。(The silence of the night seeps into my stomach.) I am a profound, hungry poet. A gorgeous, lonely poet. I am going to buy a cat. No, my apartment doesn’t allow cats. I’ll buy a tamagotchi. Watch it die. *sigh*
I have achieved god status at the local arcade. The teenagers fear me. They tremble before my retro-American might! I speak fluent Japanese but I threw in a “Yeehaw” just to confuse them. They scattered like roaches! HAH! I rule this neon kingdom! But then I went outside and it was snowing and I realized I have to go back to my unheated box. My kingdom for a space heater. Seriously. Help.
Merry Christmas! I’m stuck on a damn train. DAMN TRAIN! DAMN AIRPORT VAN! Everyone looks so depressed. I’m wearing a vintage red tie, trying to bring the cheer, but these people are vampires. Energy vampires! Biga Bosso gave us a “holiday bonus” which was literally just him not yelling at us for ten minutes. W00T! Best boss ever! I’m going home to talk to my laptop. Don’t contradict me! *smack!*