I have achieved god status at the local arcade. The teenagers fear me. They tremble before my retro-American might! I speak fluent Japanese but I threw in a “Yeehaw” just to confuse them. They scattered like roaches! HAH! I rule this neon kingdom! But then I went outside and it was snowing and I realized I have to go back to my unheated box. My kingdom for a space heater. Seriously. Help.
Merry Christmas! I’m stuck on a damn train. DAMN TRAIN! DAMN AIRPORT VAN! Everyone looks so depressed. I’m wearing a vintage red tie, trying to bring the cheer, but these people are vampires. Energy vampires! Biga Bosso gave us a “holiday bonus” which was literally just him not yelling at us for ten minutes. W00T! Best boss ever! I’m going home to talk to my laptop. Don’t contradict me! *smack!*
YEAAAAAAYAH! I beat the boss level at the internet cafe! I’ve been here for nine hours because my apartment is a tomb. The guy next to me smells like sour milk, but I don’t care. We are brothers in arms! We are gamers! We are pathetic! *weeps manly tears* I ate three bowls of ramen and the shop owner just stared at me with profound pity. I absorb your pity! I am fueled by it! W00t! Go carbohydrates! I feel your love in me!