I AM SCREAMING. Not literally. Okay, literally. I screamed into a pillow for three minutes today. Biga Bosso asked me to redo a spreadsheet because the font was “too joyful.” Too joyful?! IT WAS ARIAL. It’s the saddest font in existence! I can’t take it anymore. I am going to buy fifty bowls of ramen and build a fortress out of noodles. No girls, no joy, just me and my sodium! W000T!
Why do people still look at me like I have two heads when I speak Japanese? Yes, I have an American accent. Yes, I use slang that makes me sound like a yakuza from 1985. So what?! I was buying a simple iced coffee and the barista looked terrified. 異邦人の孤独。(The loneliness of the foreigner.) I should just communicate purely through interpretive dance from now on. It would save time.
I miss American vintage shops. I miss them so much it physically hurts my soul. The stuff here is either made for ants or costs more than my yearly salary. Where are the high-waisted trousers? Where are the gabardine jackets? I dress like a king and I have nowhere to go but a neon-lit arcade and my freezing apartment. 孤独な王は玉座を持たない。 (The lonely king has no throne.) Bam! Poetry! Now I’m gonna go eat a convenience store egg sandwich and cry.